Moments of doubt

I'm trying to stay positive, but it's a challenge sometimes.

It's a challenge mainly because the reason I moved to this country has been a big disappointment.

There, I've said it.

For the first time I can think of, I've moved away a place where I'd rather stay, and that was Copenhagen. I came to Vienna with the mission of studying, learning, absorbing knowledge and becoming specialised in my field. I was hoping it would also be a nice city to live in, that I would have a good time and make some new friends. But that wasn't my motivation to go here.

Vienna is great. I've had some fun, met some nice people. But I'm very disappointed with my studies. I can't blame it on the university of course, it's my responsibility to choose the education that I want. The sad thing is I expected more from this experience than I get. The big majority of my classes I find utterly boring and irrelevant to what I want to do with my life. I thought I'd be challenged, but I'm learning much less than my potential and my motivation to study is really really low.

I guess I just didn't expect that a course called "Water resources planning and management" would discuss Pythagoras' theorem, or how to calculate the mean value. Or that my different courses would re-use the same pictures, and the same information. And then I find it frustrating when you have to sit on the floor for lectures because the room isn't big enough, or there's 70 people in a room for 50 competing for oxygen. Or when your mandatory courses are taught at the same time at different campuses. Or when you have to fill out form, after form, after form with the same administrative data.

There are surely bigger problems in the world. And as I've said, I try to focus on the positive (...like recycling bins in the hallways). But when it's gray outside all the time and I miss someone's arms around me, I ask myself why I relocated my life again. I keep wondering if I'm on the right path (and it's the first time I've seriously doubted). Because at the moment, I feel like I'm at the wrong place at the wrong time.